The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others


Gluten Bandit

the gf pretzel experiment... not bad right out of the oven

Damn it! Sometimes it really sucks being gluten free. Sometimes we spend half a weeks pay on gluten free groceries that have dissappointing outcomes. Like bagels. Sometimes they're light and fluffy, sometimes they're dry as a bone and more suited for hammering tacks into the wall. One thing for sure, Celiac is NOT a low-income friendly disease. And there is no health care coverage for GF food. Sucky. Suck. Suck.

So, every once and a while I get off my ass and take the time (usually 2-3 hours) to make GF cookies or bread from scratch. But, this is time consuming. And I have many many on Demand episodes of The City, to watch (seriously Olivia! You really need a bitch-slap... and you're cousin Nevin is gross. And creepy. and totally using you.)... so I don't always have the time. Or the patience. Or the 17 different flour blends plus xanthum gum that it takes to make a friggin cookie. In other words, it's a pain in the ass.

Thank Shiva for companies like this. Better Batter makes it easy for me to bake without making it into a chemistry final exam that I usually screw up. And to make matters even more joyous- they provide financial aid for deserving low-income families like mine to make the products even more accessable. Yay for economically conscious smarty pants like Better Batter!

But what happens when my little man makes a very very poor choice because he's so darn sick and tired of saying "no thank you... I can't eat that"? Last weekend he popped a handful of his sisters contraband Goldfish crackers in him mouth and tried to keep it a secret. This boy can't keep secrets. He's always ratting himself out. A plus for us in many situations.

I understand that strong pull to eat gluten. I swear sometimes I dream that I'm cramming those divine, buttery little chocolate chip cookies that come in a tub from Trader Joes into my mouth and then swishing with mouth wash to cover it up.

And then I fall over in painful, cold sweat induced stomach cramps... I'm dying! I'm dying! Oh- wait- I was only dreaming that I did this to myself.

And he did it on purpose, knowing that he shouldn't.

Look- I'm not an idiot. I know that he's going to make these choices for himself that may jeapordize his health or may maintain his health. The only thing I can do is arm him with knowledge and encourage him to ask the right questions and be an advocate for himself. I ask him to be a champion for his own health. Don't eat the fucking goldfish! Just don't!

1 comment:

Beck said...

I have a fun recipe someplace for cheesy gf crackers - I use little mini cutters to make them, and they're a lot of fun for my youngest AND very tasty. A lot better than those dusty goldfish, too!

My favorite flour blend is pretty cheap AND tasty: I mix white rice flour, teff flour and some potato and tapioca starch in... I can't remember the proportions, but it works nicely for most things.

Too bad you're not in Canada. We CAN claim our groceries as a health expense here. :(