The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others

2/23/09

Gluten Bandit


the gf pretzel experiment... not bad right out of the oven


Damn it! Sometimes it really sucks being gluten free. Sometimes we spend half a weeks pay on gluten free groceries that have dissappointing outcomes. Like bagels. Sometimes they're light and fluffy, sometimes they're dry as a bone and more suited for hammering tacks into the wall. One thing for sure, Celiac is NOT a low-income friendly disease. And there is no health care coverage for GF food. Sucky. Suck. Suck.

So, every once and a while I get off my ass and take the time (usually 2-3 hours) to make GF cookies or bread from scratch. But, this is time consuming. And I have many many on Demand episodes of The City, to watch (seriously Olivia! You really need a bitch-slap... and you're cousin Nevin is gross. And creepy. and totally using you.)... so I don't always have the time. Or the patience. Or the 17 different flour blends plus xanthum gum that it takes to make a friggin cookie. In other words, it's a pain in the ass.

Thank Shiva for companies like this. Better Batter makes it easy for me to bake without making it into a chemistry final exam that I usually screw up. And to make matters even more joyous- they provide financial aid for deserving low-income families like mine to make the products even more accessable. Yay for economically conscious smarty pants like Better Batter!

But what happens when my little man makes a very very poor choice because he's so darn sick and tired of saying "no thank you... I can't eat that"? Last weekend he popped a handful of his sisters contraband Goldfish crackers in him mouth and tried to keep it a secret. This boy can't keep secrets. He's always ratting himself out. A plus for us in many situations.

I understand that strong pull to eat gluten. I swear sometimes I dream that I'm cramming those divine, buttery little chocolate chip cookies that come in a tub from Trader Joes into my mouth and then swishing with mouth wash to cover it up.

And then I fall over in painful, cold sweat induced stomach cramps... I'm dying! I'm dying! Oh- wait- I was only dreaming that I did this to myself.

And he did it on purpose, knowing that he shouldn't.

Look- I'm not an idiot. I know that he's going to make these choices for himself that may jeapordize his health or may maintain his health. The only thing I can do is arm him with knowledge and encourage him to ask the right questions and be an advocate for himself. I ask him to be a champion for his own health. Don't eat the fucking goldfish! Just don't!

1 comment:

Beck said...

I have a fun recipe someplace for cheesy gf crackers - I use little mini cutters to make them, and they're a lot of fun for my youngest AND very tasty. A lot better than those dusty goldfish, too!

My favorite flour blend is pretty cheap AND tasty: I mix white rice flour, teff flour and some potato and tapioca starch in... I can't remember the proportions, but it works nicely for most things.

Too bad you're not in Canada. We CAN claim our groceries as a health expense here. :(