my old work is falling down... I'm blessed, I'm leaving... (think "london Bridge" when you re-read that)
I had my very first official "this is really happening" meeting at my NEW grown up, "big girl undies" job tonight and all I have to say is "I wish I started yesterday".
I had a meeting with Catherine last night who listened to me pour myself out... saw the twisted struggle in my heart and felt the turmoil and confusion in my very being and she, with a calmness and a gentleness that I can only suppose is born within someone who eventually finds her calling in Buddhism and Unitarian Universalist thought, took my pile that I heaved upon her mind and turned it back over to me as a little bit more peaceful, lot more focused and definitely more "at ease" situation. One that I was able to tuck away into my pocket, and have my first restful, dreamless sleep over... one that didn't make me wake with a fire in my belly over, one that I could actually REASON out in my head as a "this too shall pass" kind of time. And so- I can actually believe that when you hear someone say " you are going THROUGH" something... I can see that the "through" means that there is another side to it. I've gone "through" it... and now I'm exploring what's on the other side. Which so far, consists of the usual: red marker on our Berber rug, good-cheap wine from Trader Joes, face holding kisses from my husband... you know... the usual ;)