The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others


telegram to my life (part two)

hey life... stop.
how's it going. stop.
oh- really? having one of those days? stop.
So what's agirl to do... stop.
stop? no don't stop. stop.
so tell me what's the problem this time. stop.
Your boss did WHAT? he said WHAT? he gave WHO your phone number to try to sell you some kind of pyramid financial scheme? His Brother! that bastard. stop.
The Mall Marketing Director said WHAT to you? you're kidding... stop.
I hope she apoligized. stop.
She didn't? Well then I hope her tire was flat when she got in her car. stop.
So who else is pissing you off... go ahead you can tell me. stop.
Well that's a given, she never acted like your mother for the whole time she's BEEN your mother. stop.
Her too? Well, SOMEBODY had to substitute for your mother and it usually IS your big sister. stop.
Oh don't you worry about her... you just hired someone new to take her place remember? Maybe the new girl will LIKE to work. stop.
I know I know... but we all have one of those day's when we are "that" parent, so please don't put those customers on your list- they can't help it that they are overworked and underpaid and their kids seem to like swiping merchandise off the shelf and onto the floor. stop.

So life- what are you going to do about all of this. stop.
I hardly call 3 drinks a solution. stop.
no- two isn't one either. stop.

Wanna hear what I think. stop. stop.
Did you just tell me to stop? stop.
Oh- pardon me- that was my redundant stop. stop.
Well... do you want to hear what I think or not? stop.

I think that you need a new job. stop.
I think you need to stop putting obstacles in your way before you even research "the way". stop.
I think you need to stop getting mad under your breathe and then saving face with your boss when you KNOW that he is doing things that he shouldn't be doing. stop.
no- YOU stop. stop
Stop telling yourself that this was your one lucky shot. stop.
Stop telling yourself that nobody would hire you to do what you do now. stop.
Stop telling yourself that you don't deserve what you ge payed. stop.
Stop telling yourself that you need a birth mother, you HAVE mothers! LOTS of them! stop.
Stop telling yourself that you are eventually going to fuck up your children- they are wonderful, they are amazing, and SO ARE YOU and the difference between what you do and what SHE did is that YOU KNOW IT and she never even TRIED to know it. stop.

Okay- I'll get off your back now... but you need to STOP sometimes... you know? Just STOP so you can START again. It's all about starting again... just start and keep going, stop when you need to so you can start again- starting is a beginning and a beginning is a chance to start again. stop. no- I meant "stop" ... not STOP. Nevermind... no YOU nevermind... no seriously- I'm serious! I mean it! Oh STOP!


Anonymous said...

I like this post! good for you for getting it off your chest.

Renee said...

The best time to look for a new job is when you already have a job. You have tons of retail experience now and lots of doors will be open to you. Don't doubt yourself. We all have days like this, I think --- that or we're both crazy ((hug))

Audri said...

You said it all, I am just backiing you up!

Mom101 said...

Wow, I love this. It's like spoken word.

(And thanks for the blogroll mention, lady. I'm honored to be in such esteemed company.)