The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others


Trust me... I'm a grown up

You know... I am an adult. I look like a child, and I'll give that I'm a young adult, but I AM a grown woman and I have to say... I very often don't get treated as one.
Is it the tattoos? Is it the rock and roll attitude? These things do not in any way impair my judgement or hinder my ability to make important, educated decisions. Yes, I CAN be right- I CAN be serious.
So why is it then that other "adults" hav a hard time trusting me? Trusting that what I say is important and has merit? It's a mystery to me.
A few weeks ago at CHURCH I smelled something burning. It wasn't a candle, it was a "woody" smell... I went straight to the Interim Director of Religious Education; Juilie, and told her that I smelled something burning. She said that she smelled it too and asked Chris (a youth), the R.E. aide about it and she said it was a candle, and was going to leave it at that. It wasn't a candle. After a few minutes and many other adults involved in moving things around to find the "source" of the smell, I quietly pulled Chris aside and gently grilled him only to find out that another youth had been in the supply room with him and had burnt a tiny piece of paper in a candle. I told Julie what Chris said and within another few minutes, there was even MORE "adults" writing a note to put on the supply room door explaining that there was not, in fact a fire- the source of the smell had been located and was taken care them. The note was then signed by the three "grown ups" who stuck their nose in this business and basically just walked around saying "where's it coming from?" "what happened" while I was the one that not only discovered the smell but got to the BOTTOM of it. My name wasn't on the note. Small thing I know but it bothered me. These adults in my own church community can't see past my youth. I should be flattered, no?
The other recent incident involved my work, a book I ordered for young girls called Cycle Savvy about their changing bodies (done in a hip and tasteful way... not really the "in your face" Our Bodies, Ourselves way- NOT that that isn't wonderful and spectacular but it just doesn't belong in a childrens store). I ordered this book with a lot of thought. A lot of feeling, a lot of strategy too knowing that the tween/teen aged girls were a demographic that we were expanding our inventory to serve. I got shit for it yesterday and felt like I needed to defend my motives. And goddess-damn it I DID. I put my foot down and defended those three copies among the other HUNDREDS of OTHER books in the store... because quite frankly, if those three little books were to go head to head with, say, the toy GUNS (that are so plentiful that they come with their own GUN RACK display), that my idiot boss thinks are "important to have in the store"... then I think that the book would kick some major ASS in the "mothers raising eyebrows in a dissaproving manner" battle. Hands down- puberty beats play killiing.
Anyways- I feel like I need to post a resume, selling my "adultness" here are my qualifications:

*Pays bills on time... INCLUDING, but not limited to- LIFE insurance for the children (that's a grown up and responsible thing that grown ups do right?)

*Comparison shops and reads Consumers Reports when making sound decisions for SAFE and RELIABLE cars. Buys a family friendly Subaru

*Worries about sugar content and trans-fats and ingredients that start with Mono or Di or end with -ethyl... (do reckless adults worry about THAT I wonder?)

*Rears two incredible little humans (or sea urchins as I like to call them) to be socially, emotionally environmentally responsible THINKERS of the Universe.

*Keeps my cool when playdough is smashed into the Berber carpet, when my nose is headbutted by a flailing, overtired toddler, when my patience is tried by a momentarily insane, "consumed by consumerism so I WANT THAT TOY NOW" little boy who needs to be soothed with reminders that he is, like all of us, just one tiny little grain of sand on this shoreline of humanity and it's NOT ALL ABOUT HIM.

*Maintains a loving, committed, equally-partnered relationship with the SAME MAN for almost 9 years and still looks forward to the many more years ahead.

*Am a registered voter AND I actually VOTE.

*Am a card-carrying, "nothing is off limits", ORGAN DONOR... can't get much more grown up than that.

These are just a few examples of my grown-up-ness... take it or leave it...
"neener-neener- NEEENER" and a pfffffftttttt to those who leave it. ;)


Anonymous said...

Laughing my ass off!!!
This post is hilarious!
You are a responsible and dependable grown-up in every sense of the word!!

jenica said...

i am soooo with you on this. i look young and i am young, and i've just come to lying about my age...making myself older than i actually am... just to get some respect. but once in awhile people will see you as the age of your soul and get past the physical stuff. i think that you are a great adult! i love your resume!