The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others

4/10/07

telegram to my life

too crazy lately. stop.
Alex, calm the f-juck down. stop.
you aren't the only one freaking out about our new schedule. stop.
ben, you little craphead next door, you may NOT call my sweet little boy a baby because he has a new kickball... he IS a baby... and so are YOU, you are SIX.... baby. stop.
Erin- my new holistic health counselor, I'm so happy to have you in my life. stop.
Alex, again... just another thought for you that I won't speak out loud right now... I just folded 4 loads of laundry... YOU, my love are sitting your arse on the couch and in about 20 minutes you're going to head upstairs telling me that you HAVE to go BED RIGHT NOW... meanwhile the dishes that I EXPRESSLY said that I was NOT doing are still sitting in the sink. DO NOT MAKE ME WASH THEM TOMORROW OR YOU WILL BE PUNISHED. stop.
Alex, I love you... don't. ever. stop.... stop.
Sage, honey, we're trying to figure out what to do with you and your "learnin' ", be patient young Jedi... we will figure it out. stop.
Ramona- stop eating the rug. stop.
Iris, you wiggled your little butt all over the store today when Regina brought you in to see me and made me laugh so hard I almost snarfed yogurt. thank you little monkey-girl. stop.
Ed- stop telling everyone that all your great ideas about the store are YOUR great ideas. Can't you give a girl some cred when cred is due? stop.
Jees- it's lonely out here in blog world. I have no idea how to find peeps who will read me. stop.

stop. stop. stop. STOP.

1 comment:

Bohemian Mom said...

Fabulous!
Hilarious!!!