The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others


Grammies Pusher...

yup. that's me. I'm a "go-getter" for my Grandmother, Blanche. She knows that I "got skills" when it comes to online shopping and what-not and she uses her grandmotherly ways to (at first) suggest I "check out something on that intra-net" and then she HOUNDS me like a dog every day after that asking if I got it for her yet.
She's relentless. A pitbull. And I don't like to mess with her. She is, after all... the Mothership to my Mermaid voyage.
This weeks mission, 12 sterling silver salt cellar spoons and a bottle of Christian Dior's DUNE. When did she need all this you ask? Well, by the 4th phone call inquiring if I had got the "goods", you would think that she needed them yesterday. But the truth is, she wants the little teeny tiny "salt spoons" (never in my LIFE could I have imagined that anything like this even EXISTED before! I can't even being to fathom a time before those handy little shakers!), she WANTS those for my Uncle Jims second marriage.... in AUGUST! Well, blow me down!
And I can almost certifiably guarantee that she's got at least a good 1/3 of a bottle of her coveted perfume (the bottle that I bought her LAST year on "that intra-net") but she's trying to cover her bases and won't be caught in a situation where she doesn't smell devine and un-grandmotherly.
So- that's my Grammie. The one and only... and after all is said and done and I call her with the good news of "I ordered it" what does she say to me?
"you tell ALEX I'm gonna give him a BIG SQUEEZE when I see him!"

.... umm... Alex? ah- okaaaaaaay, I guess he MAY deserve a little squeeze for all the patience he exhibited while I searched the world wide web far and near for her coveted items.... oh well. She's my Grammie... and I love her.... and she can hug whoever the hell she wants as long as it means that she's so happy to have us in her life. I know I wouldn't know what to do without her in mine....

1 comment:

Erin said...

Omigosh, that is so funny. Grannies are a funny bunch, aren't they!