The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others


He is: I am:

I'm not alone in thinking intense thoughts about the world.
I have this guy, my guy-
who has recently discovered the magic of "cool clothes",
who has suggested that he *may* or *may not* need Axe (ick),
who wants to wear a suit and a loose fitting tie and walk down the hall making "shoot greetings" (you know- where you point your finger and thumb at someone like "hey how YOU doin' "),
whose teacher just told me last night at open house, "this kid is FUNNY",

who wrote this poem,

who "wonders what the world will come to" and "hears the wind calling his name",
who still loves to sit and play with Legos, and tell me a hundred times in his sweetest little boy voice(because there IS still a little boy somewhere in that "tween" body) "I love you mumma",
who grits his teeth when his sister sits on his bed,
who eats 4 helpings of Parmesan risotto and begs to have the leftovers in his lunch the next day,
who "feels the warm hearts of the people around' him
who "cries about the loss of his family"

He cries about the loss of his family

Oh Buddy, oh my sweet big guy, you haven't lost anything.
Neither have I, well, not entirely anyways.
And yes, sometimes I feel like I've lost it all
and there are days, like yesterday for instance
When my "wedding song" came on the radio and I just about kicked it in, screaming "SHUT! UP!" and banging my fist on the steering wheel.
In that instance, I kind of lost my mind.
But when I look at the poem you wrote, and I see that you feel things passionately just like I do,
I feel less alone.
I feel more understood.
I feel so proud to have a kid like you that can elaborate what is in your heart, be brave enough to share it and inspire me to always do the same.

You want the moon and stars?
You got it buddy.
They're all yours.


NicoleZ said...

You made me cry. This is beautiful.

Carly said...

Tearing up at my desk...

jenica said...

take courage, mama. this one is a keeper. how freakin' fantastic. love you all.


CindieQuilts said...

My boy, my Sage, my crazy funny, my "put down the DS," my look-at-that, my science bud, my listen-to-this dude, my guy, my honey, my big Sunday hug, my child to protect, my future evil genius, my MIT grad, my sweet, my Science Museum fiend, my Sage. said...

wow! how amazing is he?? this was so beautiful to read - big love for you. xo

jodi said...

whew! this one really took me on an full blown emotional journey. so tender and true, so very full of you. stunning, kat! thanks for sharing, brave girl! oxo