The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others


Procrastinating Overachiever

this little wooden rainbow bowl sits in my window, filling up with beach stones and shells... kind of like what is happening to my heart as I complete these assignments for myself

I've been completely distracted by important things happening in the state of MA. And now it's over. And I'm sitting here with feelings that I don't know what to do with. I have to sit with the reality that I am going to be personally affected by future decisions and it doesn't feel good to me. I'm not judging anyone who has different political views, I was just hoping for the best for my own views.
And then there is this little problem of feeling torn about what guides me in my life. That will most likely remain a big question of the "big picture" for a whole long while while I try to decifer and figure things out.
BUT in the meantime, what I CAN do... what I DO have control over and what I WANT to do is to create.
So- without further ado... I am now perform the death-defying (well... that's a little dramatic but it was fun to say) act of (drum roll) accomplishing 7! count them! SEVEN assignments AT ONCE!

Assignment #12: what brings you simple joy
right now, what brings me simple joy is clearing an area of my home that feels chaotic with "stuff" that just hangs out without purpose and remaking it into a cosy little corner, or an art filled wall, or a well lit sitting area. Every time I walk by that effort that I've made to make that small piece of my home beautiful I feel warm and fuzzy... simply joyful.

Assignment #13: ask someone something that you really want to know but have been shy to ask. be brave. no is the worst that can happen.
oh my goodness... I can't believe I didn't see that this was the assignment because JUST a few days ago I accomplished it- without realizing that this was being asked of me anyways. I won't go into detail about what I asked and who I asked because she is someone that a few people may know but I can tell you that reaching out to ask these difficult questions, to someone that barely knows me (but is getting to) and hoping beyond hope that she was open enough to talk about her life, her art, and what she believes in was SO challenging... but I did it, and I'm so happy that I did, and she's given me a lot to think about and I can't even tell you how amazed I am about her willingness to listen and to offer her guidance. I was so scared about reaching out, almost embarressed that I was perhaps intruding or inconveniencing her but the results are that we have given each other food for thought and maybe even a kindred connection

Assignment #14: take a small step out of your comfort zone today
Today I welcomed in ideas that I had NO knowledge about. And I sat and listened to those thoughts and pondered what would happen if I took steps toward those thoughts. It was really nerve wracking and uncomfortable but also gave me strength to know that I had a search ahead of me to find what I believe in most, what sits within my values and acknowledge that things don't always have to be the way they've always been. That was stepping outside of my comfort zone

Assignment #15: what saves you?
what saves me is obvious: my children, my husband, my church, my friends, my willingness to journey, my strength in getting through the worst things I've ever been though and KNOWING that I did it, discovering that I can be PROUD of myself and CONFIDENT in my gifts... I have all those things to keep me afloat on the biggest life raft I've ever seen

Assignments #16, #17 and #18: give a small annonymous gift to someone (working on that... will post pics later today); make a table arrangement out of things you find in nature (again, in progress); and BREATHE... one of my favorite chants is
"when I breathe in... I breathe in peace. When I breathe out... I breathe out... love
and I find myself doing that frequently. Especially this week when so much tolerance and understanding has been asked of me.

Namaste, sisters


Mermaids Purse said...

Hi Kat...Little Miss Reluctant Mermaid. I enjoyed your posting, you are quite the thinker. Yes, do be brave and keep stepping out, you'd be surprised at the doors that open to you. Maybe today is a good day..depends on your choices. May I offer you an opportunity to take advantage of? The name of my company is Mermaid's Purse! As one mermaid to another and 2 peas in a pod that love sea glass..take a look at my site to see if there is anything you might like. Today is the last day of an incredible sale of 40% off. Coupon code: nyc2010. You might enjoy some of my blogs also...I've been to India, Tiawan, and may be going to Haiti. I love people, being kind and helping. Love to have you visit me. Fair Winds and Calm Seas Deborah Leon

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