The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others


Recovery Discovery

When on a mental health vacation, it's important to have certain factors in place to speed your recovery:

I've done a lot of discovering in the past few weeks, discovering what I had around me already that I could use to aide in the process of getting my mind all back in order, everything in it's special little drawer and cubby. I discovered that spending a day with girlfriends, buying new lip gloss and tinted moisturizer can make me feel like a new woman, a pretty woman.

I've discovered that lovely new shoes, in mustard yellow can add a new spring to my step and inspire me by their simple vintage color and divine feminine grace.

I've discovered that observing the swimming habits of mermaids not only enhances my sense of wonder and amazement, but adds to the list of things that makes me love this little one more and more... her sense of adventure and braveness- she faced her fear of the water, contemplated her fear of the water, tested her boundaries of her fear of the water and then overcame her fear of the water... she swims and swims and swims. And now I'm learning from her.

I've discovered that a day of family fun, including the bounce-house with this young sprite, is good for my smile lines. I smiled all. day. long. ALL DAY! Oh JOY, you have captured me in an entire 24 hour period... it has been so long and so long in coming...

And then there is this fine fellow. My Alex. Who, in the beginning of this crisis of mine, was just as lost as I was. Who, through making mistakes in the care and feeding of his wifes misguided brain, made some discoveries of his own about his loyalty and compassion and priorities. Who, pushed his capacities beyond his limits in my honor... so I could rest, so I could heal, so I could reflect and seek care on a more professional level. This man, who reached out to friends near and far to come to our side in support... he is everything that I have to thank for being lucid and clear headed enough to write today.
Well... him and all the love and chocolate that he gave to me that is...
and to my friends who listened and checked in and gave me your kind words- I love you all... my thanks are abundant.

and one more thing... this is so piddly and insignificant to bring up but it made. my. day.
I was listening one morning to Tom Ashbrook's NPR show, speak On Point to the author of the new biography about L.M. Montgomery.
I adored the Anne books as a child... I lived in the world of Avonlea as did so many others I know. Anyhow, I'm sitting in my car, transfixed by the images that the show is invoking in my mind... and I hear them say the phone number to the show, asking for people to call in and share their comments. I dialed, got a busy signal, dialed again, busy, dialed a third time and they answered! They screened my call, put me on hold after instructing me not to say "goodmorning" but just to say "hi Tom" (because they were going to be rebroadcasting the show)... I waited and waited and suddenly, they got me on the line- I had no idea what I was saying or what they were saying but I just HAD to share my life with Anne with them... you can hear the nonsense that came streaming out of my mouth here. I was the last caller, it's a one hour show if you can stand it. I'm still beaming from talking about my "kindred" book with Tom... Ashbrook himself. Now if THAT'S not a spirit booster I don't quite know what is....

Now- back to work. I have a vision for my life and I intend on starting to live it right NOW.


Schriftstellar said...

I'm so glad you're feeling better, and I'm so jealous of those shoes...

Anonymous said...

Glad you checked in and that you had a good day. Keep checking in. Are you still working?

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the means and the end were well worth it

Welcome back

MJ ............

Anonymous said...

Many hugs coming your way :)