The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others


The List

Yesterday in church, we had this insert in our order of service. It was a supplement for each of us to take home after hearing the sermon on "What will you do with the time you are given?". It was also the day that we have our "Ceremony of Rememberance" to honor the memory of the dear ones in our life who have passed.
Sage was up in the sancuary with us, wiggly as usual... and he saw this insert and asked for a pen and got right down to work- taking it very seriously.
"1. I want to be the first junier scientist.
2. I want to be the first to clibe a waterfall
3. I want to be the first to make a new invention.
4. I want to be the first to live the longest in the world. my cat cleo died in 2005."

This makes my heart sing for many reasons (climb a WATERFALL? But of COURSE!) but what really makes it special is that our cat Cleo (who died in fact in May of just last year, but May and 2005 are the same thing sometimes to a 7 year old) was a very touchy and sore subject to Sage. When Cleo was getting ready to die, and we were saying our goodbyes to her, we sang;

"go now in peace, go now in peace
May the Spirit of Love surround you
Everywhere, everywhere you may go"

and after we sang, and Alex carried Cleo out of the house and drove her to her vet where she took her final breaths. At home, Sage sobbed and sobbed, I rocked him and rocked him and then suddenly he sat up, wiped his eyes and declared that we were never to speak of Cleo again. He insisted that she never was really ours to begin with (we adopted her) and that as far as he was concerned, she practically never existed.
Oh. my. god. how that hurt my heart to see my boy in the throws of grief and the path he chose to grieve in.
We have tried, since then to honor his pain by speaking in whispers about our beloved Cleo...

It seems like yesterday was the day that it felt safe for him to honor her.


Blue House Mom said...

I found your blog via Design Mom. I love what your son wrote about climbing a waterfall. So clever. And his words about your beloved cat...very lovely. I'm glad I discovered your blog.

audrirene said...

Goodness, I am in tears. Loved the picture you sent me of Miss Sox!

Just Jen said...

The comments are really cute. I'm glad to see he wrote down about your Cleo. It's amazing what children will tell God. I'm so glad they can do that and have Someone to talk to if they don't want to tell us!
How smart is that about the waterfall? I would never have thought of that! He just might invent something!

jenica said...

that is so sweet. he's a keeper for sure. ;-D

Jane said...

I loved this post! Great words that you son wrote. Happy Friday!