The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others


Burn Baby Burn.... Question inferno

From Jenica... the babe with lots of babes and a babe on the way- she's so curious! I asked her to give me some of her burning questions- I have no idea what she'll think of me when I'm done... LOL

1. do you floss?
Not only do I floss, but I'm a "serial flosser" as my husband says. I have floss in my car, in my purse, at work in my desk, I have it in a bowl that holds all our odds and ends that sits on the kitchen counter, I have it by my nightstand and in the upstairs bathroom and downstairs too... I take my oral hygiene very seriously- as you can clearly see.

2. how has motherhood changed you as a person?
I certainly know how to watch my f*^$~@g mouth a little better... no seriously- how has it NOT changed me? I found out just how much patience it takes not to lose my cool when mopping up a whole gallon of milk from the kitchen floor, just how many times in a day I could say "I love you so much" and mean it every single time, that I could literally take a lickin' (headbutts, pinches, bites, etc...) and keep on tickin'... with a smile even! I saw that the most zen thing that I could possibly exerience was watching my children sleep...

3. name 2 moments or experiences in your life that *defined you*
This is a tough one- because the most obvious answers that anyone may give would be "marriage" and "motherhood"... but I think you can count on the fact that I'm not everyone- hence the "reluctant" in The "Reluctant" Mermaid.
Let's see... one thing that helped to shape me was the year that Alex and I were separated and on our way to divorce. He in Maine, me in MA... Sage in limbo. The thing that really carried me through it all was repeating the mantra "I will not recreate history and make my sons father out to be a monster". Despite the miriad issues surrounding the separation, all that I could picture was that every time I wanted to spit flames out of my mouth when referring to Alex in front of Sage, I saw very clearly that that was HIS DADDY that he would have been hearing me spew about... and I never every wanted to make him feel bad. The separation was good for me- I learned so much more independence, the value of friendships, how to ask for help when I needed it... but in the end- true love won and Alex and I are together for eternity.... or some crap like that... ;)
The second thing that I think helps to define me is letting go of everything that I ever learned from my abusive, emotionally unavailable mother. I let her go... I don't know how else to define that except to say that my best revenge against her is that I am an exceptional parent to my own children. That's al I can say about that right now.

4. go to, take the test and list what color you are. Do you feel that you can identify with this color?
"Congratulations. You are BLUE.
BLUES are motivated by INTIMACY. They seek to genuinely connect with others, and need to be understood and appreciated. Everything they do is quality-based. They are loyal friends, employers, and employees. Whatever or whomever they commit to is their sole (and soul) focus. They love to serve and give themselves freely in order to nurture others' lives.
BLUES have distinct preferences and have the most controlling personality. Their personal code of ethics is remarkably strong and they expect others to live honest, committed lives as well. They enjoy meaningful moments in conversation as well as paying close attention to special life events (e.g. birthdays and anniversaries). BLUES are dependable, thoughtful, and analytical; but can also be self-righteous, worry-prone, and moody. They are "sainted pit-bulls" who never let go of something or someone, once they are committed. When you deal with a BLUE, be sincere and make a genuine effort to understand and appreciate them.
Understand that no two BLUES are exactly alike. Although you share the same core motivation as many others, your personality is still unique to you alone."

Do I relate to this? I feel like I have many meaningful conversations and yes, I ALWAYS remember special life events... I DO h ave a very strong code of ethics... personal ethics about how to treat people, how to treat the earth, how to treat the issues that plauge our nation and the greater world and YES I EXPECT others to follow those ethics... but... since the world still has all those problems, since people are still hurting and suffering- I guess the ethics I have haven't caught on. I am committed but I don't know if I'm self righteous- I guess that feels negative to me and who really admits all their "character flaws" anyways?

5. name 3 pet peeves of yours, however neurotic they may seem.
1. Since I work in retail, I'm going to use my first pet peeve as a little "Public Service Announcement"... 'kay?
2. When people don't peel bumper stickers off YEARS after the election is said and done.... okay all you Ross Perot supporters out there?
3. Pumpkin leaf bags.... in July.

6. and finally, name your favorite breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert.
Breakfast: Millet with cinnamon, Earths Balance buttery spread and maple syrup
Lunch: a Mother's brand cheddar rice cake with Trader Joes Red Pepper and Eggplant Spread, spread on it and a few well placed slices of Irish Dubliner cheese... toasted in the toaster oven.... oh love love LOVE it!
Dinner: in the summer it's grilled portabella mushrooms... in the winter it's New England Squash Soup.

Thanks Jenica... that was interesting! I really liked pondering my life like that. If any of you (all two of you) devoted readers would like for me to ask you any burning questions, just reply to me with your email and I'll light the flame of my curiosity!

1 comment:

jenica said...

oh kat, i just loved your answers! especially the floss one (hehe) and the defining moment one. that's exactly what i was wondering about... moments in life that others might not see as a *defining* but moments that clearly focused your path in life.