I went and got my hair cut tonight. I needed to shed some stuff, I was feeling so weighed down and my split ends were literal. I needed to sit and be quiet, read trash magazines while someone fussed with my head. I needed to be spoiled. So I spoiled myself. Let me now rephrase that first sentence: I went and had a hair experience tonight. It truly was an experience. I was given wine, The magazines were still trash but they were a classy kind of trash. I was told to put my feet up and relax, I was given a head rub, I was immersed in aromatherapy. I was cleansed and my hair flew all around in snips and beautiful textured color just appeared out of nowhere, like I had gone to the beach while I sat in the chair with my eyes closed. And then I opened them. And I liked what I saw. And when I got home, Iris said "you look better than the mom I had before". Funny kid. I shed a little bit of what has been weighing me. Even if it's only like, a half ounce. But the point is, I came home from that and now I need to start figuring out how to be that "other mother". The mother who can get through this even though I'm kicking and screaming. The mother that waits until the babes are asleep before shedding the necessary tears. The mother who wears the sunlight in her hair (even though it was put there by some lovely little chemicals), who just knows how find herself again.