The Reluctant Mermaid

one woman unwilling to swim in the same direction as the others



Sometimes, the beauty of the world hurts my eyes.
A photograph, a song, a word- pains my heart.
Am I a vessel, chosen by the Universe to be filled with this abundant suffering,
so that others won't have to?
I could, quite literally, walk around crying all the time
With the depth and seriousness of all that I take into my heart.
Sorrowful, warm tears of worldly agony.

And the thing is, I know I have more, I know I am more than this.
I look at the faces of my babes, my gorgeous wild children,
but I still can't feel like I'm enough for them. Enough for any of this.
And so, with all that beauty and pain that I am surrounded by every day-
the walls that were slapped together with such pliable and careless force,
the walls that make up the shape of the vessel that I am...
they crack...
and there is very often nobody there that can understand the depth of the cracks
and so there is very often nobody there that can mend them.

It's just been one of those lives. This is where I am right now....


Schriftstellar said...

This is just so, so beautiful. I can absolutely relate, too. You're in my thoughts today...

audrirene said...

That is beautiful yet tragic. I worry about you so. {{{hugs}}} Know I am only a phone call away.

Jane said...

gorgeous post. I can relate so very much to every word. Sometimes I feel like I'm just this body that the universe sends the energy through and out to everyone. I always seem to be inspiring so many others, but not myself. I feel the cracks in my vessel and yet, nobody could really understand the true depth in them. We'll just keep writing and sharing until we get it all out and find ourselves in better places.

Love and light to you :)